Think about being a Detroit citizen. You just got fucked in the ass by the auto industry and live in what's a simulation of a post-apocalyptic world. But worst of all, Jim Caldwell coaches your football team.
Caldwell is the Carly Fiorina of the NFL, failing upward with the same blank expression on his face. You know the one. He looks like a movie extra. A quick check of his resume reveals he coached some very mediocre Wake Forest teams, where his Wikipedia page proudly states he set offensive records that have since been broken by other Wake Forest teams and Wake Forest sucks ass at football.
He was then brought into the NFL by noted fuckhead Tony Dungy. Despite his experience as a defensive back at Iowa, another school that sucks ass at football, Caldwell got the chance to be a position coach for Peyton Manning, which you have to think was more beneficial for one more than the other.
After Dungy fucked off, drug addict Jim Irsay gave the keys to Caldwell. Thanks in large to the previously mentioned Manning, Caldwell stared into the abyss while Indianapolis stormed out to a 14-0 start. They would lose the Super Bowl that year but worst of all for Caldwell, Manning's neck disintegrated and the next year, the coach was exposed as the tit he is.
He was fired the next year and up to this point, this isn't anything special. Bad coaches get hired and fired all the time. But the Detroit Lions thought highly enough of this underwhelming guy to bring him in as a head coach to spark their underwhelming team.
Even in a city where Marty Mornhinweg kicked the ball to start overtime, Jim Caldwell is a terrible head coach. He took an under performing team and reduced their potential. He has the sideline demeanor of a gnome. Their two minute drill consists of 29 underneath routes to Theo Riddick before Matt Stafford throws a hilarious interception.
Like what the fuck Detroit? Did Dave Wannesedt say thanks, but no thanks? Was Dom Capers unavailable? Did Mike Munchak lead you on and flirt but stood you up at the door? At least hire a promising coordinator that you'll inevitably poison is your hellhole of an organization.
